Identity in this Context

I have learned that the people of this area of South Africa are defined by where they call home. In the South African context, to lose home is to lose one's definition of self. The people here are very clear about where they come from; difficult for me who has to have a short story to explain where she is from... Arkansas to North Carolina to California to CT, now. S0me people here have physical distinctions to define to others their identity, where they come from, in this context. Some have scars engraved on the sides of their face, & some have an alteration to the lobes of their ears- all to identify self & home. The significance of this, in this culture, is not lost on the orphans left in the wake of the AIDS epidemic here. Here, there are many children burdened in ways I cannot even imagine, by the loss of both parents to the disease. Some have lost parents so prematurely, they do not even have memories of this family from which to draw their history.

A very amazing woman, a warrior in this crisis, named Elzhet (I am surely butchering the spelling of her name) explained to me that to lose a family is one thing, but to be born with no knowledge of where one comes from, is in essence, to be born without a home- and this is to all extents & purposes, to be without an identity. As children are born to ailing mothers and already deceased fathers, families are broken, and as the people that are to rear you and teach you about your past pass, there is an emptiness left behind, that I cannot even begin to understand or explain. There is a loss in the community, and there are children without papers or birth certificates and most importantly with no one to claim them as their own. Don't get me wrong, there are amazing people and neighbors in these communities that pull from what little resources they have, an extra amount of bread & love to shower those feelings & expectations of family on another- making him or her their own. There are also stories of children alone far out in the communities, going days without food or adult supervision, after their mother or grandmother or caregiver has passed away. Young girls left with even younger siblings might resort to selling their own body for money for some food. I was told of a young boy who took off his only shirt for his mother who died, so that she would be taken away with clothes on- he was found, shirtless, in the only corner still standing of his dilapidated home. These are the things to think about when deciphering the next step for the orphans & vulnerable children of the community. It is such a growing problem in fact, that there exists an acronym to shorten this title, OVC- The phrase needs to be spoken so many times, that is must be abbreviated for brevity. That speaks to the magnitude.

I am learning about identity in this context. A child born with no knowledge of his home, suffers in ways I hadn't even considered. A child that sees his caregivers pass away, it is argued, is better left to stay at his home, alone without adults, than to be taken out of his home, his identity, & put in an institution. I have learned that a South African child can survive without parents, without a great deal in fact, but to be without a home, is to be without a piece of one's self.

So, I have come to define my own home more precisely: I am from the southern US originally, & my home is wherever Taylor, my husband, is.